10/05/2006
dam my computer got 'virused' by the pop ups in hin wen's blog.. dang it. so all the stuff i was gonna blog? all GONE. bye bye stuff that i blogged! urgh. havent been blogging for a lil while. my internet problem. again. sigh. so i'll start blogging from whenever. whenever i want. i mean. duh. yeah. hi, this is my blog? -_-"
sigh.. i wodner wtf i ever did to him to make him hate me so. i thought he was nice. he sent me letters. i thought he was sensitive. he was like the only one who sent letters to me? ohkay fine. he's not that only one.. but he did, right? he wanted to walk me home. (technically, he didnt know i dont live in bishan. so.. he wanted to walk me to the mrt station. fianlly, we came to a decision not to.) well. the thought counts. he smsed me like everyday..? and i kinda looked forward to them? for a reason, i guess? he was everything i wanted a dudu to be.. than it all fell apart. so i said no. wtf do you take for? huh? dont i have the right to do so? i explained it to you and its a very logical explaination. so why do you hate me now? god. get over it. it was july. now it's.. october. like 3 months? get over it! this feeling's tearing me apart. ruining my life. if he finds out, bet he'll be pleased. jerk. i mean, its not like i like him or anything. but why do i feel so.. horrible? ohkay. no, a li. impossible. nah uh. it's.. fakee. right this is getting more personal than anything. more diary-like than blogging-like now. whatever. but i gotta lay my cards on the internet. (duh. blog?)it's crazy for me to feel this way. why??? god i dont even know myself. normally if some dudu's got a problem with me, i'll be all.. "bring it bastard" but i'm.. running away. from my feelings too. shit i'm crying now.. -_-" i'm.. insane? psycho? my keyboard's gonna spoil soon. obviously, my sis'll blame me. cos it IS my fault anyways.. but wth.i'll pretend it's not. lyrics. nice ones. below.
**************
Oh no Don't go changing That's what you told me from the start Thought you where something different That's when it all just fell apart Like you're so perfect And I can't measure up Well I'm not perfectJ ust all messed up I was losing myself to somebody else But now I seeI don't wanna pretend So this is the end of you and me Cause the girl that you want She was tearing us apart Cause she's everything Everything I'm not It's not like I need somebody Telling me where I should go at night Don't worry you'll find somebody Someone to tell how to live their lif eCause your so perfect And no one measures up Yeah all by yourself You're all messed up I was losing myself to somebody else But now I seeI don't wanna pretend So this is the end of you and me Cause the girl that you want She was tearing us apart Cause she's everything Everything I'm not Now wait a minute Because of you I never knew all the things that I had Hey don't u get it I'm not going anywhere with you tonight Cause this is my life I was losing myself to somebody else But now I see I don't wanna pretend So this is the end of you and me Cause the girl that you want She was tearing us apart Cause she's everything Everything I'm not But now I see I don't wanna pretend So this is the end of you and me Cause the girl that you want she was tearing us apart Cause she's everything Everything I'm not *************
i wish i could go back in time.do the stuff i could makeright. iron it out. anythin to change this freaked up disaster. catastrophe. i wish i knew why he hates me so. i wanted to say bad stuff about him like the way he did. but i cant. i dont know why. i hate my life. i thought he was different. i guess what he said made me feel.. special? i wished for something badly when we were still friends. yup. crazy. me. me. me. me.
enough depression for the year. it aint me. ohkay. a question for frens. say you have 2 good frens. and this guy you like totally hates them and wants to get back at them and he tells you this. wouldcha still talk to him? or decide who you should help? ohkay. for me.. maybe i'd talk tot he dudu. but i wouldnt decide who to help!! not that i dont believe her or anything.. but. its a natural thought that'll come to mind. if she helps him, he may like her.. so. duh? maybe she's using us as an excuse to talk to him? heh. no accusations. just questions. and thoughts. i'm totally stressing, man!!
the EOYs aint that much better. trust me to only revise on the night before the exams. urgh. pro-ness? dang it. history was psycho-y. tough like crazy. and my history's pretty good ohkay. always B or so. but it was HARD. art? total mix up. maths paper 1 was ohkay. paper 2? FAIL!! science? hard like crazy. fuck the dudu who set it lahhs. chinese.. hmm. think i may fail by 5 marks. =DD wonder why i'm happy about it... geography's on monday. one of my worst subjects. sigh. fail. literature's on tuesday. score ohkay, kimmaye? must get an A1 or A2! dont care! d&t marks the end of the EOYs. after thats the marking days.. which is councillor camp for us. dont scoff. ever.
what i blog may or may not be true.
it's your choice to believe me or not.
i dont care anyways.
if you're here to check up on what i think about you,
dont waste your time.
especially you,
hacker.
dont like what you read?
too bad. aint my problem.
&; thanks
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